The First Winter

I want to write this plainly because the literature is very polished and I was suspicious of the polish before I arrived.

Nobody asked me what I believed. I had prepared answers. I had a whole position on organized anything, worked out over years, and it was never once required. What I was asked was whether I would come on Thursday, and then whether I would come on the Thursday after that.

The first winter I mostly cut reeds and was cold. I disliked several people and one of them is now the person I telephone when something has gone wrong. That is not an argument. It is just what happened.

Most people encounter the Continuance through a person they already trust. I have since become that person for someone else, and I found the feeling less comfortable than I expected.

I have been asked whether I feel I can leave. I do. I have also noticed that I have arranged my life such that leaving would cost me nearly everything, and that no one arranged this but me, and that this is the part I have not finished thinking about.